Why Was I Running from The Ministry?!

So let me start from the top.

Why has she been on the scriptures so heavily lately? I know many are wondering. Well honestly I had the most terrifying dream. I won't go in detail because not everyone can understand or discern, but all I will say is that what I saw was enough to scare me. I woke up emotionally disturbed by what God had shown me in this dream. I knew then that I had to stop running from my calling.

 

 I didn't want to minister because again I felt that's too much pressure. I just wanted to be normal and do as I pleased without that on my head. So God allowed me to see something that made me see why the ministry is so important. I was overwhelmed by what I saw and horrified. So this is why I had to step up and make a choice. I have done everything to do what I wanted to do but  honestly its not about me.

 

 Its too many innocent people who need to hear the word. There are so many being mislead in the churches. Its a lot of deceit going on. So God reminded me that if you don't join in and do this work...many will be lost and you too can find yourself in hell for disobedience. I have been like Jonah on the run but change had to take place. Sometimes nothing goes right until we do what is right.

I was never a huge sinner. But still I was a sinner. We are to be examples to those who are lost.

 

So what is my gift in the ministry?

 

 I have a gift of prophesy. Meaning I dream things before they happen or I see things. I can come in touch with you and God will reveal something about you to me. I also can interpret dreams. All these gifts existed in some of the prophets and even Joseph & Daniel. I have also shaken hands with many leaders and I could "see their true self" which is often overwhelming. And no I don't always hear or see things because the spirit does not dwell with us always. Thankfully because I would probably go insane. I only see what God wants me to see at the right time so I can help the person.

 

I dreamed on many occasions of me preaching and walking the aisle with sweat pouring from my forehead. I know its what I was called to do. I just didn't want to accept it.

 

 

 So you see why I been running!

 

I had fear that people will call me crazy. Fear that people will say its a form of witchcraft blah blah blah...simply because they don't understand the gift themselves or have it. (Joel 2:28 "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:)

I mean what guy wants to be with a woman who can foresee things as massive as death. That was another debate I was trying to have with God. I said Lord you are going to have me single for a long time with this gift unless I hid it from the guy which is something I definitely did not want to do. So I knew that the man God would give to me as a husband was going to be a man strong in faith & in the gospel.

 

 

I first started dreaming at about age 13. I was of course told it was foolish and all that other stuff  until I vividly described seeing a woman to my grandma who I later was told was the description of her mom. A lady I had never seen. That's when I knew I was definitely different. Yet I didn't understand what that difference was.

 

The bible teaches us that many are called but few are chosen.

 

Not everyone is given the gift that I have. This is why our roles in the church are very important.

God may reveal something to you that you have to tell someone or even at times the leader of the church as the prophets did for the Kings in the older days.

 

I avoided my gift because at times I felt it was like a curse. Dreaming of a persons funeral and then seeing it come to pass was not something I wanted to see. Yet again its an important gift because you have to warn people when you dream things like that and its up to them to prepare themselves or change their life around.

 

Again I didn't want to be seen as crazy so I ran and ran until God scared me straight! You can't try to be normal when the gift God has placed within you is far from normal.

 

I can no longer do what I want to do.

I have to be obedient and if people run or leave my side then they were never truly with me at the start. They thought Jesus was crazy too so I don't feel too bad.

 

 

 

I have had enough of me time and me time has not been productive for me. Its God's way or no way at all. The run is over.